B is for Beer

B is for WHAT? I came across this Baby T-shirt in a little online boutique:

If you don't have superdooper vision, what the shirts says is "B is for Beer." I think this is hilarious. But, could I actually let my child wear this? Of course not. Nor could I let him wear the companion shirt "M is for Matches." Funny shirts, but I am really not into shirts with sayings on them in general, although I did let Violet get a shirt that said "Science Rocks." Plus, it just really makes me uncomfortable in some responsible parental way. But, it did inspire me to create an entire Bad Mommy Alphabet. So, I give credit to the store Baby Dagney for my inspiration for this evening.

A is for Alcohol (Ah, yes, I think I will have some, thanks)

B is for Beer (as stated above)

C is for Cannabis

D is for Doobie ("I swear, I did not inhale")

E is for Easter egg hunt held indoors due to rain, but missing one egg...2 months latter E is for "EEEWWW! What's that smell!"

F is for F-in (what I mutter under my breath)

G is for Guns and Roses

H is for H*** (where I am going after this)

I is for "I am not joking! If you don't cut it out I am giving away all of your toys"

J is for Jugs (as in "nice jugs")

K is for Kegger (does this really need an explanation?)

L is for LEAVE ME ALONE

M is for Matches

N is for No seat belts

O is for Outside (where the kids go when mommy locks them out to enjoy A or B)

P is for Poop

Q is for "Quiet, mommy is sleeping!"

R is for "Really, if you don't stop fighting, I am pulling this car over and you are walking home!"

S is for STOP (as in STOP biting your toenails! or STOP yelling! or STOP touching your sister!)

T is for "Time for Bed" "But mom it is only 4:30" "No, Timmy, that clock is wrong, go to bed now, mommy needs to enjoy the 2nd letter of the alphabet."

U is for Underwear

V is for Vomit on the floor

W is for "Wait until your Father gets home!"

X is for X-Rated

Y is for Yellow puddle on the bathroom floor

Z is for Zoo (as in "this house is a zoo")