Sunday, April 29, 2012

Things I Have Done Instead of Blogging #8: Fast Edition

I have been racing.
And I have been racing Fast.

I am not going to tell you all about my race.  If you want to read about it, you can go here.
But, I am going to tell you, that I have found my peace with running.

I wrote this on my running blog in February:

"The funny thing about racing, is that for years, I didn't want to race.  A big part of this was that I had spent years racing and chasing personal records, and medals and championships and I didn't need to do that anymore.  Another part of the non-racing, was that I knew, in my head, that I would never be able to race as fast as I once did.  I did not have the time and the energy to commit to training, and plus, I am not getting any younger.  Those speed demon days were over, but I have my PRs burned into my brain, and the thought of racing and being so many minutes away from those PRs, made racing a non-appealing thought."

And the other funny thing is that it has been so long since I was "fast" that I didn't even realize until this afternoon, that my 10 mile race I ran yesterday, was a full 6 minutes faster than the last time I ran it, 5 years ago.

The thing about "Fast" is that Fast is relative.  I was once Fast.  And I am still Fast.  And so is Erin and Barb and my brother, and his wife,  and everyone else who shows up and puts their heart and soul into running.  Chocolate Girl is Fast and Bari is Fast too.  But, sometimes Fast has to take some time to recover.  And that is ok.  There is a running slogan that says encourages you to "Find Your Strong."  I like that.  But, I also think it is ok to Find Your Fast.  And your Fast might not be the same as someone else's, but it is yours and yours alone.

Once you find your Fast, you might just be motivated to get faster, or run farther, or hike the Pacific Crest Trail....uh hem....(sorry husband, I don't think I can give that one up)....or to just keep on putting one foot in front of another....You OWN your Fast.

So speed on my friends.
Fast is beautiful.
And in this picture, Fast was also very very cold.

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Sunday, January 01, 2012

Not Resolutions...Revolutions

It is the new year already and pretty much anything I post here is going to sound resolution-like.

It doesn't matter what I call them, resolutions, goals, thoughts that I think while alone in the is still an attempt at a new start for the new year.  

But, to be honest, I don't need a new start.  I don't need small little changes to work toward a better me.  I yam, who I yam (I also like sweet potatoes, by the way.  Have you ever tried the Pioneer Woman's sweet potatoes?  Even people who don't really like sweet potatoes, complemented them at our Christmas dinner.).  

But....I CAN do better.  
I can listen more and react less.  
I can do more for myself and empower those around me to do for themselves.
I can see where I want to go, and I can have the faith to follow the road map to get there.
I can read more, and say less.
I can give up on the multitasking.
I can create a better definition for "having it all."
I can be more present.
I can be a better friend.

This place...this place has been my friend.  This place is so pretty.  I love the blank page that waits for my thoughts to flow out of my fingers.  This place has created friends that I would have never had.  And now I don't want to leave.

But, the truth is that sometimes, I am not a very good friend.  Sometimes, I worry more about getting my own "stuff" taken care of, that I don't make time make sure my friends are taken care of.  Sometimes, I read what you write, but I don't comment, because I am so busy.  

Sometimes, I live so much in my head that I forget what other living there is to be done.
And, sometimes, there are things in my head, that can't be said anywhere, let alone here.

I don't need resolutions to get me where I want to go.  I need a revolution.
I am not leaving.  But, I am also not staying.  
I will still be here (I have to keep posting photos to my Cat Lady photo album, after all), and here  and here and I might still be here, but it isn't going to look the same. 
My revolution isn't a quitting, it is just an overthrow of the government.

You know where you can find me.


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